Surrender
The past month has been a whirlpool of emotions, bringing me to depths of despair I hadn't felt in a while. It's as if something had shut off, and I could no longer keep the lights on for more than a brief moment. We found out we had three glorious embryos waiting for genetic test results only to learn days later that none were "viable." Two would have ended in a miscarriage and one had down syndrome. It made me wonder if it would have been better to not have known in advance and just had a baby with down syndrome. I believe my husband and I can handle the challenges while loving and supporting a child with special needs. Then again, perhaps we can't and that was why we were given the choice before the embryo was transferred. If I had no other options, would I choose to transfer the embryo knowing my baby would have challenges that others would not have to face? Is that unfair of me? Would my child resent me for it? How can I even think of raising a child if I ca...