The Cards We Are Dealt

It's funny that I finally started realizing how much I was looking forward to being a mom and owning that desire about a week ago, only to find out days later that this last round of IVF did not work and I am not sure that I even want to transfer the blastocyst (5 day embryo) I have on ice. While the frozen embryo did make it to day 5 in a lab, it's not the best grade. Obviously we won't make a decision until we have our consultation with our doctor about this last round, but the fact that I'm even considering not transferring it came as a bit of a shock.

While I am angry and frustrated with my fertility journey, I'm also in a place where it is what it is. I supposed you could call it a place of acceptance. This particular path that I'm on is the path I'm meant to be on - for better or worse. I don't know that I've necessarily been fighting against my fate, but I do feel like I have less resistance for whatever is coming next.

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