Delayed First Entry

I never considered myself a coward, but evidence is clearly pointing in one direction. I guess I just needed to identify the things I avoided in order to not have to face the fear within. I used to think I was an open book, and I was so excited to start a blog – intending it to reveal my authentic self to anyone who wanted to get to know me. Almost three years later, I finally got around to writing (and posting) my first entry.

The catalyst to writing today? I read a book called, “Fail Fast, Fail Often: How Losing Can Help You Win,” by Ryan Babineaux and John D. Krumboltz. So many thoughts are running through my head right now, but I will endeavor to focus my point in sharing this book for this entry. It occurred to me the other day that I have been avoiding this blog because I feared being a failure. I feared that I would prove to myself that I was fake and so far from being authentic. I feared that while I say I like who I am, if I revealed my inner thoughts to others and then received negative comments, that my hard-fought self-acceptance would waiver and ultimately shatter.

You may wonder then why I even bother. My main reason is congruence. How can I say I know myself, I love myself, and I accept myself, and yet that confidence goes only so far as I can through a truck. I want to change that, and I’m only going to change that if I take the risk. I’ve got to start somewhere, right? So a little anonymous blog that no one knows about seems to be a great small step – and it only took me three years to take it.

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