Signs, Omens and Frustration (with Hope) - Part 2

Where’d I leave off? Oh yes, the clinic with a potential Asian egg donor and no longer knowing what I want to do.

During our consultation, the new doctor said he believes I have an 80-90% chance to have a baby with my own eggs.

This new doctor describes his clinic as the clinic of last resort. According to my current doctor, the new clinic uses questionable methods that are not supported by data. Their success track record on third-party sites are less than stellar. None of these statements are necessarily inconsistent with each other.

A study by the new doctor does support his methods, but the sample size was limited and does not appear to have been replicated – successfully or unsuccessfully. Their track record could be less than others because their target client comes to them as a last resort.

Anyway, after discussing our track record with IVF, the new doctor proposed a new theory why we weren’t getting pregnant – on our own or through IVF. One possible issue is that my ovaries are older, which means the environment in which my eggs undergo their final development is possibly less than ideal. So an earlier egg retrieval could potentially result in a better quality egg, leading to a better embryo.

The other issue could be that I have an overactive immune system, which would explain my miscarriage, why the one embryo transfer didn’t take, and why I get these random hives/rashes ever since my miscarriage.

This new clinic will also do a Day 3 transfer, which is something I’ve wanted to pursue for over a year now. Even my first IVF doctor thought it may be a good idea, but because he partnered with a clinic that would not do Day 3 transfers, we were not able to pursue that option with him.

So what’s weighing on my mind now is that I’m exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. And if the theory about aging ovaries vs aging eggs is not true, my chance of having a baby with developmental issues seems to be high. It also hasn’t helped that my thyroid levels started fluctuating and I’m balancing the stress of building a business and supporting my husband’s transition from being burnt out to joining me with the business; having non-local, aging parents in so-so health that are not yet vaccinated from COVID; and dealing with tenant issues and property repairs and renovations.

I guess this is where I truly own whether or not I want children and how much it matters if that child is of my own genetic material.

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