I'm OK

 I’ve wanted to write a book for as long as I can remember. I’ve started hundreds of stories and outlined almost as many. The idea that I could control the outcome of the story and be anything I wanted to be, be good at anything I wanted to do - what power. 

And then I’d pause and wonder if I am missing the point of appreciating who I am, the struggles I’ve had to endure. Mind you, I don’t have a childhood sob story where I was beaten everyday or locked in a closet and kept half-starved. Did I mention that I have an active imagination?

But I’ve always had this sense that God has exposed me to a variety of life challenges so I would have the capacity to at least have a glimpse of what some of those more intense experiences feel like and could relate to others who’ve had it worse and could use a empathetic ear. 

I know, I know, a little grandiose of me to think that I would be groomed for such a impactful role in humanity. And yet? Perhaps we all are groomed for such an impact. If we just take the time to listen and see others where they are. If we have the courage to face our own self doubts and fears and to let others see our vulnerability. 

It is my intent to open up and share my stories in this blog. I like to think of myself as an open book, but when I’m honest with myself, I only share when someone stumbles upon me when I’m low and exposed - otherwise I retreat to my cave, bury myself under covers and stare blankly into the abyss. 

There’s something strange about writing to an unknown audience. Not that I don’t have an idea of who would be drawn (or forced) to read this. But knowing that as I write this, the audience does not exist until this is done and posted. I really like one-on-one conversations. I like to look into the eyes of who I’m talking and listening to. Without the other face, I feel a little silly baring my soul. So please bear with me in my ramblings and I hope at least some of what I write gives you comfort, connection, and maybe a laugh or two (even if it's at my expense).